Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
