Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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