I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
