i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
