Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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