Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
