in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
