I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
