She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
