thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize