Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
