our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
