was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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