Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
