Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
