You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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