tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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