I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
