i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
