thus making me awesome and them whores
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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