mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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