similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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