He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
