we have officially lost it.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
