Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
