no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
