Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize