Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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