Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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