My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
