why didn't you poke me back
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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