you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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