i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I understand Curling. That high.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
