I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize