OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
