Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
