I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize