her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
How does one acquire holy water?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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