So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
