Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
