Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
