I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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