I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
