btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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