you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
