you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
