I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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