Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
