Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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