I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
