he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
