I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
