is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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