my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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