it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
