id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
