This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
