Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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