READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
