I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Randomize
